Redemmed Decisions

Some stories still make me laugh when I tell them.

Not because every part of them was wise. Not because every part of them was good. But because enough time has passed for me to see just how young, impulsive, and completely unqualified I was to be making some of the decisions I made.

This is one of those stories.

When I was 20, I took a trip to Seattle for my birthday to visit my aunt. While I was there, I met a guy on a night out, and in a series of decisions that still feel slightly unbelievable, I married him 18 days later.

Yes, really.

It sounds wild because it was wild.

At 20, I did not have the wisdom I have now. I did not have the discernment I have now. I was not thinking about the kind of things I think about today when it comes to love, commitment, character, stability, and what actually matters in a relationship.

I was young. I was messy. I was trying to find my footing in life, and if I am honest, I was also looking for something that felt like a new beginning.

Looking back now, I can see that the story was about more than just a guy. It was about where I was in that season. I had made painful choices. I was trying to outrun parts of my life that felt heavy. I wanted change, and somewhere in my 20-year-old mind, fast decisions felt like brave decisions.

They weren’t.

They were just fast.

And yet, that is still part of my story.

We were married for four and a half years, and out of that marriage came two of the most beautiful gifts of my life: my twin daughters.

So no, I do not regret the story.

I do not regret the girl who said yes to something so completely unhinged. She was not wise. She was not healed. She was not thinking long-term. But she was doing the best she could with what she knew at the time.

Would I do that in my 40s?

Absolutely not.

Not even close.

Because what I know now is that love is not built on chemistry, intensity, or a whirlwind moment. Real love is steadier than that. It is deeper than that. It is built over time, in ordinary moments, through character,

consistency, trust, and the kind of presence that stays when life gets hard.

That kind of love is built differently.

But grace has a way of meeting us even in the stories we would never repeat.

And when I look back on that chapter now, I can see God there too. Not because the decision itself was wise, but because He is kind enough to meet us in our immaturity, our mess, and our unbelievable choices and still bring something beautiful out of them.

So yes, marrying a man I met 18 days earlier is definitely something I did in my 20s that I would never do in my 40s.

But it is still one of my favorite stories.

Because it reminds me that even the chapters that make us shake our heads can still hold grace.

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We're With You

Have you ever looked back on something you did in your younger years and thought, I would never do that now? Sometimes the stories that make us laugh the hardest are also the ones that remind us how far grace has carried us.

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