Grace Rewrites the Story

Have You Ever Been Arrested on Christmas Eve?

Yeah… me neither.

Until I kinda… sorta… almost was.

There are certain moments in life that make you stop and ask yourself:

“Lord… what exactly was I doing?”

This is one of those stories.

Now, before we begin, let me just say this: I was not walking with Jesus yet. I was not healed. I was not emotionally healthy. I was not making wise decisions. And honestly… I was one emotional breakdown away from becoming a country song.

I was around 25 years old, living in Nashville, and dating my boyfriend at the time,  who is now my husband, Bill. At the time, our relationship was messy, passionate, chaotic, and fueled almost entirely by emotion instead of wisdom.

You know those relationships where every conversation feels like a movie scene?Yeah.That kind.

Bill had temporarily moved to Los Angeles to pursue music work, and during that time, our relationship became strained and confusing. We were technically “kind of together,” “kind of broken up,” and emotionally exhausting each other in every possible way.

Then came Christmas Eve.

Nothing says “Happy Birthday Jesus” quite like emotional instability and unresolved relationship trauma.

I was sitting at a coffee shop in Nashville when Bill suddenly walked in, slammed something down on the table, and accused me of cheating on him.

I wasn’t cheating on him.

But in that moment, he believed I was.

He turned around and stormed out.

Now…

A healthy, emotionally stable woman probably would have let him leave.

I, however, was not a healthy, emotionally stable woman.

I jumped into my little periwinkle Volkswagen Bug, complete with flower decals and giant eyelashes on the headlights, and proceeded to chase him down West End Avenue like I was starring in my own low-budget romantic thriller.

To this day, I still cannot believe this happened.

We eventually pulled into a bank parking lot where the argument escalated dramatically. There was yelling. Crying. Emotional chaos. At one point, I grabbed his keys and threw them into a bush.

And yes…

At another point…

I may or may not have attempted to run him over with my car.

Not my finest spiritual moment.

Mainly because there was no spirituality happening at all.

Eventually, the police arrived.

They separated us, placed us in separate squad cars, and drove us downtown. Thankfully, neither of us pressed charges against the other, so technically neither of us were arrested.

But let me tell you something:

Sitting in the back of a police car on Christmas Eve really makes you reevaluate your life choices.

The officers basically told us:“

You two should absolutely not be together tonight.”

Which honestly…

Fair.

At the time, though, I didn’t have the maturity or spiritual foundation to understand why my behavior was so destructive. I wasn’t operating from peace, wisdom, or identity.

I was operating from hurt.

From insecurity.

From fear of rejection.

From desperation to be loved.

And desperate people do desperate things.

A few days later, I couldn’t stand the idea that Bill still believed I had betrayed him. So naturally, because apparently I learned absolutely nothing from almost getting arrested, I decided to drive to the house where he was staying.

Now here’s the important detail:

It was not his house.

He was house-sitting for a music producer friend while they were out of town.

Again…

Excellent decision-making all around.

It was pouring rain when I arrived. Bill opened the door, looking completely panicked, and asked, “Is this a trick? Am I about to get arrested?”

I literally dropped to my knees in the rain, begging him to let me explain myself.

And somehow…through all the chaos…through all the dysfunction…through all the emotional immaturity…

God was already moving.

Because what I didn’t know then was that only a few months later, my entire life would radically change when I encountered Jesus.

Not religion.

Not church attendance.

Jesus.

And suddenly, the chaos I had been living in became impossible to ignore.

God began showing me the broken places in my life, not to shame me, but to heal me.

That’s the thing about grace:

Grace does not pretend sin is harmless.

Grace rescues you from it.

A few months after giving my life to Christ, I received a phone call from the producer’s wife whose home I had very inappropriately used during all of this drama.

And let me tell you…I thought this woman was about to absolutely destroy me.

Instead, she invited me over.

I walked into that house expecting anger, shame, and condemnation.

What I encountered instead was maturity.

She sat me down, asked me about my life, my divorce, my relationship with Bill, my pain, my story, and while she absolutely addressed the inappropriate behavior, she did it with grace and wisdom instead of humiliation.

That woman became one of the greatest unexpected gifts in my early walk with God.

She didn’t excuse my behavior.

But she also didn’t define me by it.

And because of her influence, Bill and I decided to completely change how we approached our relationship moving forward.

We chose to honor God.

We chose to walk differently.

And before we got married, we remained celibate throughout our engagement.

That season changed everything for me.

What began as a Christmas Eve disaster eventually became part of the testimony of God’s redemption in my life.

And honestly?

That’s why I share these stories.

Not because I’m proud of the chaos.

Not because I think dysfunction is funny.

But because there are women carrying shame over the worst moments of their lives, believing God could never use them after what they’ve done.

Friend…

If God can redeem the girl crying in the back of a police car on Christmas Eve…

He can redeem you, too.

Your worst moment does not get the final say.

Jesus does.

We're With You

Have you ever looked back on something you did in your younger years and thought, I would never do that now? Sometimes the stories that make us laugh the hardest are also the ones that remind us how far grace has carried us.

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